[ Brigade measures the meaning behind the words ] There's some unrest and lingering ill-feelings in Shin Yamatai?
[ Brig has never known peace time. He fights for it, always has, but has never been one to enjoy it. Only recently in his new Conspiracies has he found semblance of it. ] War is ever-present on all types of battlefronts. [ Brig knows he hasn't been trying to control his expressions since he first felt relaxed speaking to Kasumi on their first night. He hasn't bothered keeping his guard up. ]
[ Brigade thinks of Task Force: VALKYRIE and the United States. He thinks of the other areas of unrest. He thinks of Russia and Grendal ] Yeah, the world's got a long way to go, and it's been fifty years from the Darkest Vigil.
I'm glad though, that I can be of help to the bigger picture now. Hopefully I'll get clearance to help with Grendal as well after my work on Task Force: VALKYRIE.
[ He empties his cup and pours another ] I've read enough, Ma'am, to know you're very right on that point.
I would like to think that I am good at my job, yes.
[And good at keeping a close eye on the movements of her (former) son. Hikaru Shinta was a brilliant man, and a few steps away from being a god in his own right. People like him saw things, even before they understood what they were.]
[ Brigade tries to smiles at that, although the concern doesn't leave his face. He opts not to speak for a while. She'll speak again when she's ready. If not, then he'll be content to just drink in the quiet of the evening with her. It must have been something pretty heavy to tire someone of her caliber.
He really does hope she's okay.
Brig lights up a new cigarette after taking a sip of sake, leans back on both hands and looks up at the night sky. This spot of her's really is very calming. ]
[ Brigade keeps his eyes looking at the sky as he speaks ] Surprisingly, Ma'am, I do. Although, truthfully, I've never really been fond of sitting around and just talking. [ He recalls that day at the Golden Dawn office with An'yu-sama, when he was told by his sensei that maybe he should make time. ] Some people have told me that maybe I should learn to like it. Can't say I have. [ He remembers Baguio where he found himself running to and hermiting in Sagada to train. He'd just felt so trapped into being forced to stay at home, no matter how much he loved J and Kitty. ]
It's nice here, I admit. [ He looks back at Kasumi with pure honesty in his eyes. ] But I think only really like it because of these conversations with you.
[She lets surprise show on her features, and averts her gaze for a turn, as though it was both pleasant and embarrassing to hear such a thing from a man.]
I am glad that you have. One must be a good host in one's own home, yes?
[ It's so naturally done that it seems so real. So perfect, her reaction. It's impossible to tell whether she's being genuine or just courteous.
But patterns are things Brigade works with and he can't help but notice that it sounds so familiar. "One must be a good hostess, right?". Something she'd said the first day they drank. His eyes sag at the side even though he tries to smile. ]
I really do mean it, Ma'am. It's not flattery. [ Cause it really isn't ] Not trying to curry favor or get on your good side or anything from you. [ He turns his head away and looks to the ground on his side opposite of Kasumi. His brow furrows, thinking. ] I'm sorry. Maybe I'm doing something wrong.
[ For the first time since their first drink, he has this urge to just run. Not away. But just run. Do Brig things for the night; situations he knows he has general idea over? He doesn't want to. It just clicks somewhere in his stomach. He wants to stay. He's not sure if he's nervous, worried, or... well, he's not sure what he's feeling. ] I was thinking about you last night. I hadn't expected we were spending the night in Shin Yamatai. I was looking forward to drinking with you. [ He'd thought it was just going to be a daytrip. There was some disappointment when he'd found out it wasn't. ]
[Placing a hand now, on his wrist. It's meant to be a reassuring gesture, especially with how it's backed up by the look on her face, and her easy manner.]
As things stand, our conversations have been enjoyable... things that I look forward to myself. [Smiling a little.] They have reminded me that I really should take more breaks from work. Maybe it's a good reminder for the both of us. [Then, teasingly:] Even people like us look for companionship.
[ It's the first time she's made physical contact with him. He doesn't know whether to jolt his hand away. Kasumi's very different from Biscuit back in WWII. He fights the urge to pull his hand away. It would be rude. Like his thoughts of leaving awhile ago. ] I'm sorry, I'm just... I don't know. I just suddenly worried that I might just be a chore that you need to entertain. I don't really like being a nuisance to anyone.
[ Her hand's warm. Strong. Aside from J, K and his Blademates, Brigade hasn't really had physical contact with women except when it's a combat situation or they're an opponent in an engagement ] I'm glad to hear that I'm not[?], doing anything wrong, I mean.
[ Breaks are a foreign concept. It's all just wasted time which could have been used for something more productive ] You don't take breaks often either? I have to admit that Seigi's really been the first time I've really taken a break [ Aside from drinks. Those are normal for a soldier. ] and, well, found that I've been enjoying myself. [ I'm sure you have a list of people you can call when you feel the need for company, Ma'am. ]
I had to learn the merit of them, yes. The possibility of taking them also effectively disappeared during the Darkest Vigil.
[Pulling away now, apparently satisfied that she has quelled Brig's fears - or, at least, that is what she is showing for him.]
Drinking with you, though, has reminded me that I should take more time for myself. [Smiles.] So that is one good thing that you have done for me, for certain.
[ The Darkest Vigil. When he'd read up on it, it was just the shock of his life that he'd missed what could be considered WWIII. ] You were constantly on the field, Ma'am, like everybody else? Combat situations?
Well, I guess, I have to thank you, too. I haven't really enjoyed drinking like this. [ He thinks of drinking alone, or with teammates, or superiors, or someone he's fought with or against. J accompanies him these days when he drinks at home. But that's different.
Never casual drinking he actually sought after, with someone he'd just met. He admits to himself that the alcohol isn't really an issue; regardless of drinks, he'd be happy to join Kasumi in just randomly talking without a purpose. ] I've never really found myself looking for someone's company to share with no other purpose than to sit and talk. To waste time with. [ Cause there really is no purpose, no mission or goal, to his evenings with Kasumi. He just goes because he likes her company. It's not like his drinks with Hikaru which he spends because he sees them as Brotherly bonding, and trying to get through to his Brother on some things. ]
[ He catches the tone in her voice that means not to ask further about that point. Although he wants to tell her that he hopes those weren't times as hard on her as he expects they must have been, he relents ]
[ On the War Hounds: It feels like the army ] I do enjoy it, Ma'am. It started out for me as just like the army. Then they started feeling like my family back in the army. I guess, I got attached to them since they've been my first social interaction since... well, in a long time. And it felt familiar.
Their personalities make it something I'm torn about really. [ He thinks of particular Blademates ] Josh, Brianna and Kaz, they feel like normal kids. It's something different; they make me see them in a different light. When Taning's acting goofy, it feels that way too.
Yulia though, always reminds me that it's a job. That it's a mission. I guess, no matter how I've tried to reach out, I have difficulty seeing her in any other light. And Taning can't mask how much of a soldier he is too, when we sortie.
In a way, I find being with Yulia and Taning more... comfortable? Familiar? [ Because it feels like how his life has been since he was born. It's a mission. Everyday is a mission with a purpose of improvement. And constant fighting. ] Normal?
[Listening, outwardly attentive as always, inwardly filing everything away for future reference. These are the War Hounds, after all. That blade.]
That is understandable, given the similarities that the three of you share. I hope, though, that you do not plan on holding any of them at arm's length from you. They are your surrogate family now, correct? That is the Netsach way, as it is our own.
Of course not, Ma'am. [ He means it ] They're actually the only people I've felt comfortable enough to let into my home... J's home... aside from An'yu-sama and his family.
I even enjoyed goofing around in the photos while wearing the Stormguard Armor with Taning and Brianna. It's the first time I've actually taken a, what do they call it? A "selfie"? [ He smiles at the thought. It really was comfortable doing that with them ]
And well, Yulia, I think she's still not at-ease with me like the others are but that hasn't stopped me from trying to reach out to her. [ He remembers the trip back from Sta. Cruz. How he told her she looked better when she smiles. He wonders if the Lady of the Night knows of that engagement; the one the other four don't talk about. He laughs inside. He also remembers trying to reach out on their first day of "Bushido training" with Hikaru. How he lifted Yulia up and told her she looked wonderful in the kimono. ]
[ Brigade thinks of how so long he'd wanted the "normalcy" of the times in WWII back. And how when some semblance of it suddenly returned, it made him so happy. The news in particular of being with J and K without worrying of Disquiet was both uplifting and heartbreaking ]
[ He takes a deep drag of his cigarette. He hadn't really taken the time to recollect much on all this. ] I'd just gotten so used to being alone, Ma'am. [ He exhales the smoke out. ] When it disappeared, I just accepted it as part of me. Something I had do deal with like people born without one eye, or someone who's lost his legs. [ He pauses. Long. Downs his sake. ] I guess I just got used to it. I'm a soldier. I was a Promethean made as a solution. So I thought of it as just another problem I had to deal with, and dealt with it.
[ He pauses again. ] And I'm having difficulty breaking old habits. Just can't get out of old patterns I set up to compensate for everything.
It will be difficult for you to tell others to break bad habits if you cannot break your own.
[Pouring a new round of sake for them both now, with a small smile on her lips.]
Perhaps you can consider this a step. You did say that you have enjoyed our time together. Maybe you should take more time out to find more people to do this and others things with when you return to the Philippines.
[ He concedes to that. ] I know, Ma'am. But I guess we're all works in progress.
[ He thinks on her words ] I'll try. [ He pauses and adds ] My best. I think I've at least been making headway with those I hold close. My family, my Blade, An'yu-sama, your son. [ They really are the only people he spends time with doing things of the non-combat sort. Interaction with everyone else is mostly driven by some particular purpose. ] I planned to give my blademate Brianna a gift actually. Well, more of, have a gift made.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[Then, softly:]
There are only too many broken houses to fix, and only too many fires to put out.
no subject
[ Brig has never known peace time. He fights for it, always has, but has never been one to enjoy it. Only recently in his new Conspiracies has he found semblance of it. ] War is ever-present on all types of battlefronts. [ Brig knows he hasn't been trying to control his expressions since he first felt relaxed speaking to Kasumi on their first night. He hasn't bothered keeping his guard up. ]
no subject
[A light shrug as she's taking another drag from her pipe.]
Nevertheless, all things considered, it could be much worse.
no subject
I'm glad though, that I can be of help to the bigger picture now. Hopefully I'll get clearance to help with Grendal as well after my work on Task Force: VALKYRIE.
[ He empties his cup and pours another ] I've read enough, Ma'am, to know you're very right on that point.
no subject
[And good at keeping a close eye on the movements of her (former) son. Hikaru Shinta was a brilliant man, and a few steps away from being a god in his own right. People like him saw things, even before they understood what they were.]
no subject
[ She seems so distant tonight. He feels concerned. ] Is there... anything bothering you tonight, Ma'am? Is there something wrong?
no subject
[Smiling. If for anything, it's the truth. As exciting as the engagement was, it had been a challenge for the likes of her.
She wouldn't have it any other way, though. Rare are the times that she gets to go out on the field.]
no subject
He really does hope she's okay.
Brig lights up a new cigarette after taking a sip of sake, leans back on both hands and looks up at the night sky. This spot of her's really is very calming. ]
no subject
You really like it here, don't you?
no subject
It's nice here, I admit. [ He looks back at Kasumi with pure honesty in his eyes. ] But I think only really like it because of these conversations with you.
no subject
I am glad that you have. One must be a good host in one's own home, yes?
no subject
But patterns are things Brigade works with and he can't help but notice that it sounds so familiar. "One must be a good hostess, right?". Something she'd said the first day they drank. His eyes sag at the side even though he tries to smile. ]
I really do mean it, Ma'am. It's not flattery. [ Cause it really isn't ] Not trying to curry favor or get on your good side or anything from you. [ He turns his head away and looks to the ground on his side opposite of Kasumi. His brow furrows, thinking. ] I'm sorry. Maybe I'm doing something wrong.
[ For the first time since their first drink, he has this urge to just run. Not away. But just run. Do Brig things for the night; situations he knows he has general idea over? He doesn't want to. It just clicks somewhere in his stomach. He wants to stay. He's not sure if he's nervous, worried, or... well, he's not sure what he's feeling. ] I was thinking about you last night. I hadn't expected we were spending the night in Shin Yamatai. I was looking forward to drinking with you. [ He'd thought it was just going to be a daytrip. There was some disappointment when he'd found out it wasn't. ]
no subject
[Placing a hand now, on his wrist. It's meant to be a reassuring gesture, especially with how it's backed up by the look on her face, and her easy manner.]
As things stand, our conversations have been enjoyable... things that I look forward to myself. [Smiling a little.] They have reminded me that I really should take more breaks from work. Maybe it's a good reminder for the both of us. [Then, teasingly:] Even people like us look for companionship.
no subject
[ Her hand's warm. Strong. Aside from J, K and his Blademates, Brigade hasn't really had physical contact with women except when it's a combat situation or they're an opponent in an engagement ] I'm glad to hear that I'm not[?], doing anything wrong, I mean.
[ Breaks are a foreign concept. It's all just wasted time which could have been used for something more productive ] You don't take breaks often either? I have to admit that Seigi's really been the first time I've really taken a break [ Aside from drinks. Those are normal for a soldier. ] and, well, found that I've been enjoying myself. [ I'm sure you have a list of people you can call when you feel the need for company, Ma'am. ]
no subject
[Pulling away now, apparently satisfied that she has quelled Brig's fears - or, at least, that is what she is showing for him.]
Drinking with you, though, has reminded me that I should take more time for myself. [Smiles.] So that is one good thing that you have done for me, for certain.
no subject
Well, I guess, I have to thank you, too. I haven't really enjoyed drinking like this. [ He thinks of drinking alone, or with teammates, or superiors, or someone he's fought with or against. J accompanies him these days when he drinks at home. But that's different.
Never casual drinking he actually sought after, with someone he'd just met. He admits to himself that the alcohol isn't really an issue; regardless of drinks, he'd be happy to join Kasumi in just randomly talking without a purpose. ] I've never really found myself looking for someone's company to share with no other purpose than to sit and talk. To waste time with. [ Cause there really is no purpose, no mission or goal, to his evenings with Kasumi. He just goes because he likes her company. It's not like his drinks with Hikaru which he spends because he sees them as Brotherly bonding, and trying to get through to his Brother on some things. ]
no subject
[But enough of that.]
What about your blade? Do you not like 'wasting time' with them now?
no subject
[ On the War Hounds: It feels like the army ] I do enjoy it, Ma'am. It started out for me as just like the army. Then they started feeling like my family back in the army. I guess, I got attached to them since they've been my first social interaction since... well, in a long time. And it felt familiar.
Their personalities make it something I'm torn about really. [ He thinks of particular Blademates ] Josh, Brianna and Kaz, they feel like normal kids. It's something different; they make me see them in a different light. When Taning's acting goofy, it feels that way too.
Yulia though, always reminds me that it's a job. That it's a mission. I guess, no matter how I've tried to reach out, I have difficulty seeing her in any other light. And Taning can't mask how much of a soldier he is too, when we sortie.
In a way, I find being with Yulia and Taning more... comfortable? Familiar? [ Because it feels like how his life has been since he was born. It's a mission. Everyday is a mission with a purpose of improvement. And constant fighting. ] Normal?
no subject
That is understandable, given the similarities that the three of you share. I hope, though, that you do not plan on holding any of them at arm's length from you. They are your surrogate family now, correct? That is the Netsach way, as it is our own.
no subject
I even enjoyed goofing around in the photos while wearing the Stormguard Armor with Taning and Brianna. It's the first time I've actually taken a, what do they call it? A "selfie"? [ He smiles at the thought. It really was comfortable doing that with them ]
And well, Yulia, I think she's still not at-ease with me like the others are but that hasn't stopped me from trying to reach out to her. [ He remembers the trip back from Sta. Cruz. How he told her she looked better when she smiles. He wonders if the Lady of the Night knows of that engagement; the one the other four don't talk about. He laughs inside. He also remembers trying to reach out on their first day of "Bushido training" with Hikaru. How he lifted Yulia up and told her she looked wonderful in the kimono. ]
no subject
[She speaks neutrally, casually, as if the fact that Brigade is a Promethean should mean nothing.
It means nothing to her, but she wants to see what it means for him.]
no subject
[ He takes a deep drag of his cigarette. He hadn't really taken the time to recollect much on all this. ] I'd just gotten so used to being alone, Ma'am. [ He exhales the smoke out. ] When it disappeared, I just accepted it as part of me. Something I had do deal with like people born without one eye, or someone who's lost his legs. [ He pauses. Long. Downs his sake. ] I guess I just got used to it. I'm a soldier. I was a Promethean made as a solution. So I thought of it as just another problem I had to deal with, and dealt with it.
[ He pauses again. ] And I'm having difficulty breaking old habits. Just can't get out of old patterns I set up to compensate for everything.
no subject
[Pouring a new round of sake for them both now, with a small smile on her lips.]
Perhaps you can consider this a step. You did say that you have enjoyed our time together. Maybe you should take more time out to find more people to do this and others things with when you return to the Philippines.
no subject
[ He thinks on her words ] I'll try. [ He pauses and adds ] My best. I think I've at least been making headway with those I hold close. My family, my Blade, An'yu-sama, your son. [ They really are the only people he spends time with doing things of the non-combat sort. Interaction with everyone else is mostly driven by some particular purpose. ] I planned to give my blademate Brianna a gift actually. Well, more of, have a gift made.
no subject
[Given how, well, rich she was.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)